the shizz about grimes.

On a more serious note...

2009-09-06T15:46:00.001-07:00

Being a "brat" is a lot more difficult than most people think. Having parents in the Air Force (and every other branch of the military) puts a lot of pressure on a child. You are faced with responsibilities most people don't experience for almost 10 years down the road. This is especially true for those of us with younger siblings. Most people ~~don't~~ understand the problems and stress I go through when one of my parents are gone for months at a time. Most importantly, even my best friends can't help me when I'm upset. So when I was sent away to Island Lake this summer for a week to make friends with other brats, it opened my eyes that I'm ~~not~~ alone. The people I bonded with during camp will be my support when I'm dealing with "brat stuff". I am deeply grateful for my girls Spaz, Blondie, and Top because I know they'll always be there for me. I love you guys(:

You three are all I need.

lg voyager,

2009-05-10T21:16:00.000-07:00

is possessed. anybody have this phone? grr,
it's cute! but i swear, it has a mind of it's own.

so yeah. i have been gone for ever again. lol
i'm out of track for the season :(
i was supposed to go to state for high jump and discuss
but silly me, i had to go and injure myself!

+inner and outer shin splints
+stress fracture on my ankle bone
+tendonitis
+torn ligament on my shin
D:
my parents kind of jynxed me when the gave me a middle
name that means "grace" in german. oh well...

and for the record, zack's a douchebag(:

chris perez is a creeper.

2009-03-10T18:36:00.000-07:00

randomly he tells me that he googled aaron's name
and my posts about him came up on the first page...

turns out, he's right. haha
i realized i haven't logged into this blogspot thing
since like, december when i was at my dad's.

good thing he didn't go around spreading word i'm not over
aaron, because i posted those blogs before i started dating zack.
who i love.

so yeah,
it's been awhile...
i have a myspace now.
search the email: derrtyblonde93@yahoo.com
or the display name: emilybea(:

i'm too lazy to answer emails right now.
i'll get around to it eventually.
:]

let's go, follow me outside.

2008-12-18T14:26:00.000-08:00

and i know it won't be long till
i'm holding your hips tight i know
you want to leave 'em all behind.

<3cash-cash

:)

so, i'm doing somewhat better since my last
post. although it still hurts like crazy.
well duhhh. anyway, i'm leaving for my dad's
tomorrow. i'm excited.

ok, so it doesn't sounds like it... but i promise
i am. it's just going to be hard not seeing his
beautiful face until we start school again. and
considering i haven't seen him since math class on
tuesday... :/

according to mein vatti, wir gehen auf 'downtown
dallas' fur ein Party in New Year's Nacht :)
my german is getting better and better, ja? haha.
for those of you that don't speak this amazing
foreign language, i said 'according to my daddy,
we are going to downtown dallas for a party on
new year's eve.

:D

leave me stuff?

oh, and text me. i'll be bored out of my mind while
we're driving to my granny's house.

(360) 773-8982

no stalkers, please.

fear is the heart of love, so i never went back.

2008-12-13T12:14:00.000-08:00

death cab knows how to hit you where it hurts.

these lyrics for once, are so deep to the point where
it makes me want to start crying. again...

my life was going way too perfect- i knew it. well, it
all started falling apart when aaron ended our seemingly
perfect relationship. from there, my love life was out
of check, then my grades started slipping because it was
impossible to focus on anything but him, so there goes
my school life. my friends are being very supportive of
me in my time of crisis, but i'm too sad all the time to
ever go out and do anything with them, which crashes my
social life...

so there goes 'emily- a tv special on what a perfect life
for a 15 year old should be like'. :/

don't be sorry for me, i'm doing better. it's been ten
days since he broke my heart, so i've had some time to
let it heal. mehh; they say time will eventually mend
your heart, but all i've experienced so far is that it
has given me time to think about how much i miss you.
your voice, your touch, your kiss, your passion, your
everything.

thanks for listening, aaron.

not.

now keep your love locked down:)

2008-11-30T18:57:00.000-08:00

gahhh i'm not allowed to like kanye wizzle anymore.
lol he's apparently aaron's LEAST
favorite person on the planet.

whatevsss.

haha there hasn't been any school
for like, almost an entire week. i
can dig this lifestyle. only 3 years
and 6 months until it's over! haha.
whoa though; 3 years and 6 months ago
was 5th grade... which doesn't seem that
far back. weird how time flys by so quickly,
yeah?

so my birthday was fantabulous; quite
possibly the best one yet:) don't really
feel like explaining all the deets right
now, but eventually i might.

i just want to put it out there that lately, music has
been taking up a large portion of my life. between band,
and just the earphones to my iPod that seem to be constantly
implanted into my head, i pretty much never go without some
type of music in an hour. like now for example, i'm listening
to music. and hour ago? my phone rang, and it played a song.
i guess it could potentially be a good thing, because they say
music makes you smarter, but what does it have to do with any
thing related to school? it's not like i'm allowed to listen to
my iPod during semester finals (which are quickly approaching-
eep!) or another important test... mehh. just ranting. again.

haha.

goodnight lovies:)

wish i could shut my playboy mouth:]

2008-11-13T20:06:00.000-08:00

how'd I turn my shirt inside out? inside out babe.

control your poison babe. roses with thorns they
say. and we're all gettin' hosed tonight. what's
going out on the floor? i love this record baby,

but i can't see straight anymore. keep it cool
what's the name of this club? i can't remember
but it's alright, alright.

<3 lady gaga. lol!

life is going good guys. reallyyyyy good:)
for my first term in high school (yes i know
you hate me, i'm a river rat; who cares?)
i got-
period 1: A
period 2: A
period 3: B+
period 4: A
period 5: A-
Period 6: B-

these grades make me extremely happy.

xD

see how happy i am? hahaha. but yeah. for once,
my social life, my love life, and my school life
are all finally in check. at the same time! this
is a very rare thing; if not never. oh well- better
not jynx it! :]

i haven't heard much from my readers
lately- that makes me mildly UNhappy.

Dx

see how unhappy i am? hahaha. really though
guys, i love hearing from you. and my email
inbox is always open to you.

+cough cough+ in case you forgot:
derrtyblonde93@yahoo.com
-OR-
sunny.clouds.go.by@gmail.com

sometimes i forget to check my gmail when i
get on the computer, so if you can, email my
yahoo as the primary source of communication.

you can talk to (or ask) me about basically
anything! i've been told lately i give really
good advice, and i have helped a lot of people
with problems of all sorts:)

or you can just chat me up. i really don't mind.
i just miss you guys. not to seem whiney (like i
once thought i was), but you used to make me feel
so loved in the blogging community.

+sigh+ oh well. i guess i'm done ranting. off to
bed! why so early, you ask? mehh- some of us have
to wake up at an ungodly hour of the day for a lame
ass zero period.

=/

goodnight loves!

'what walks on 2 legs in the morning, 3 in
the afternoon, and 4 at night?' 'mrs. martin'

'that way to hades!'

'whatevvvv. DEV!'

because when i arrive, i i bring the fire, make you come alive.

2008-10-31T19:26:00.000-07:00

i can take you higher.
what this is, forgot.
i must now remind you:
let it rock, let it rock, let it rock.

YES! you guessed it. i'm bored as hellll.
there's like, a half an hour until manda panda's party
and i have absolutely nothing better to do than
sitting here, talking to people who aren't even listening.

but if i do say so myself, i look pretty darn cute.
hair done, costume on, make up complete, but nowhere to go
for 30 whole minutes! how sad, right?

ehh. not really:)

i'm excited to see a bunch of people that
are going to be at the party. most of them
i haven't seen in a while, and some of them
i just don't see enough.

well, i'll go find something else to do for the
las boring 25 minutes of my friday night.

goodbye! and happy halloween to everyone.

:]

map!

2008-09-13T17:15:00.001-07:00

still blogginit,

2008-07-14T09:20:00.000-07:00

but i get to leave for texas in like an hour, so i'm pretty stoked about that. and i'm going to miss your stinky butts like way crazy. i should be able to get service
out in tay-hahssss, but if not; my dad does have a computer. leave me stuff?

poll?

2008-05-16T22:44:00.000-07:00

as deep as the atlantic ocean.

2008-05-03T22:52:00.000-07:00

so i was going through some of my old baby photos, basically out of sheer boredom. i came across this one picture of me from when i was about eleven years old. at that time, i was in fifth grade, and thought i was the coolest person on earth. i thought i was sooo mature, just because of my status. i guess i've always had the gift of a large ego, but since then, my entire persona has changed. and i thought to myself, WOW. i have changed in so many ways that someone who hasn't seen me for just three years would never be able to recognize me. i grew almost an entire foot, these things called boobs appeared out of nowhere, my feet got immensely bigger, my taste in music has done a complete one eighty, and the qualities that i look for in a friend have changed dramatically. i never thought i'd be dating the kind of guy i am dating. but i guess that's just how things work out sometimes. i mean, things change. i've never been one to handle change well, despite my position as a child; which always backfires on me whenever i am faced with a large change. for example, the most upcoming one; high school. in the past six years that i have lived here, i have met some pretty damnamazingpeople. and about twenty of them are leaving me. again. i guess i am just always set up for disappointment because i always have such a positive outlook on things. but then it hit me: these are the best years of my life, and right now; i'm seriously worrying about things other than friends? i mean, i've been thinking about jobs, school work, internet, television, and if i'm so scared to leave all my friends, then why am i not hanging out with them more often? it just confuses me to the living end. but not to fear; summer's almost here. and i have plenty of time to sort those kinds of things out. just please promise me this guys:
let's make this last month and a half the best ever. i want the parties to be partier, the fun to be funnier, and i want us to be... ussier. we have a total of four months left of this year to be complete screw offs, and then it'stime to grow up and time to have responsibilities.
so what do you say? ... can we?

holaholahola.

2008-04-24T21:04:00.000-07:00

haha. senora jacobs scares me sometimes. strike that, all the time. eh, wasl is finally over. thank god. you know? at first, when i started this, i used to think no one reads it; and it's basically just a place for me to vent. but i've been getting a lot of supportive emails saying how they like the 'realness' that is in my blog. i always thought i sounded whiny and catty in it, but apparently that's normal. haha. go figure. so yeah, to all of you who have sent me things like 'omg i love your blog! it's so down to earth' and 'you're sooooo cool! i wish there were people like you at my school' or, my personal favorite 'will you transfer to lakeshore? i just know for SURE you'd be popular'; thanks. you are obviously my motivation to keep blogginit. and if you guys want my opinion on ANY issue, like literally any issue at all, you can ask me. it's really no big deal. i love giving back, especially to my loyal fans. WOW. they should make 'blogginit' an official word. haha. like this:

Main Entry: bloginit
Pronunciation: \ˈblȯgenit, ˈblägonitt\
Function: verb
Etymology: short for Webloging something
Date: emily's year
: posting to a Web site that contains an online personal journal with reflections, comments, and often hyperlinks provided by the writer; abbrv. for blogging it.
— blog·ger noun - one who blogs .
— blog·nation noun - a site like blogspot, blogshere, and/or myspace blog that has more than one million bloggers.

oh yes. you guys are jealous of my mad definition making skills. :]

ily! leave comments?

oh yeah;;

2008-04-13T20:56:00.000-07:00

and i did some yard work for this lady who lives like 4 blocks away. chloe helped me yesterday until about two, and then i went back today. i got my payyy. ONEHUNDREDDOLLARSBITCHES. :]

boh-linggg. :]

2008-04-13T20:49:00.000-07:00

yeah. so i went bowling with gabe today. it was probably the funniest thing that's happened on a weekend in a LONG time. haha. well, first of all, we were put in lane 17. which is like, my least favorite number in the whole wide world. and then, i couldn't find a ball that was either not too heavy, or fit my fingers reasonably. then, i was swinging it on my turn, and when my arm went backwards, i accidently let go of it and it hit this guy with a mullet. lmao. so i went to go buy a soda, and while i was up at the counter, the little ball return machine thingy ate mine and gabe's bowling balls. GAY. that happened maybe... hm... about 8 times. then the pins all fell down, and didn't get back up. so someone had to come through the little back flap thingy, and it TOTALLY ruined what they leave to the imagination about the midgets who give you the balls back. so yeah. and my stepdad and my mom wanted to meant him, but with that, i made them NOT stay... FUNNY. :]

semana de spiroto.

2008-03-28T16:40:00.000-07:00

translation: spirit week.

yeah, it was mucho fun. :]

i got a good grade on my spanish test today, so i'm like all espanol-ish. haha.

so yeah;;

monday=pee jays.
tuesday=nee-yonn
wednesday=dress like a rockstah
thursday=blast from the past [and the social!]
and today was color. 8th grade was red.
oh, and the pep ralley.

so yeah. as of yesterday, it's six weeks for me and gabe. my parents think that's really amazing that a 'flimsy little middle school relationship has lasted this long'. isn't that encouraging? haha. it just makes me want to be with him even longer. but i have NO clue what i'm going to do about summer vacation. [which as of next month is TWO months away]. but yeah, i mean i always go to summer camp [single, might i add] and i'm probably the biggest flirt you've ever met... so should i just tell him 'oh, i flirt a lot at summer camp, so, we'll break up now, and i'll get back with you once high school starts? no way man! ugh. whatever. spring break! whoop!

:]

wow, isn't it funny how no matter what i start posting about, it always turns around and starts ranting on and on about gabe. lol.

ily guys!!!

32 days. and counting.

2008-03-17T21:22:00.001-07:00

i mean, who doesn't? whenever someone asks a girl how long they have been going out with their boyfriend, they say 'i don't know... it's not like i'm counting.' but the truth is;; everyone does. i mean, not all the guys do, but EVERY teenage girl on this planet is counting the days that her and her 'sweetheart' have been together... but anyway, in other news... culture fair turned out great. gabe's grandma turned out to be a tad wierd, but everything else was funnnnn. tomorrow is our last swimming practice. how scary is that? i mean, we have practice tommorrow, a meet on wednesday, nonthing on thursday or friday, and then monday is our last meet. after next week is spring break, and then it's track season! see. i told her. i SO told her. oh;; who? my mom. on november 1st, we were at target, and they were putting the halloween stuff away already and broke out the xmas gear. i mean come on! anyway, i said, 'you know what? first it's the christmas stuff, then comes new year's, then valentine's day, and st. paddy's day, spring break, and all of a sudden i'm in high school! well, it's already to the 4th one as of today... anyway. yeah. creepy. goddd. i'm sooo gonna miss my bagels next year! i mean, being a river rat isn't that bad;; is it? no. it's not. IB is for me. i know it... don't try to change my mind! i know what i want. wow. i'm officially going crazy... well, it's not like i ever wasn't. peace out girl scouts! it's sleepy time for this psycho blonde! ily guys! =]

wow. it's been even MORE forever!

2008-02-14T22:15:00.000-08:00

like, 4 months forever. wow. um... idk how to summarize a 15 week period, but in short, i'm going back out w/ gabe again, as of today. he bought me a carnation. i thought that was adorable. i'm prettydamnsure he's not going to back out of 'us' this time. swear. anyway.. culture fair is next week, and yeah. mom's leaving on friday, [not tomorrow] and isn't coming back until sometime in the 2nd week of april. joy. i get to have scott ALL to myself. with no mom. >=|

FerJesusItsBeenForever!!

2007-10-24T09:15:00.001-07:00

Ok, So. I Don't Like ***** Anymore. I Don't Have The Patience to type it all out so anyway. I like **** now. He's in 8th grade, and a football player. To be specific, the starting DE #61 on our school's tackle team. Anyway, we dated for about 5 days (2 of which i never saw him, one it was only the last hour of the day) anyway// yesterday, he said he has to much shit going on in his life right now, so he can't really handle a gf. he said i'm awesome like, a katrillion times. der. i know that. i think he's awesome too. but to dump me after a little over 2 actual days, that is SOOOO not awesome. so yeah. that just about sums up a very compicated 5 1/2 weeks. xD

oh, and hadley and ciara jumped him 2 weeks ago. lol. it was hilarious. not like ferseriously, they were just messing w/ him because they thought he was "toying w/ my emotions". but anyway, hopefully, he'll come to his senses. anyway. love you bitches! oh, and if you've noticed, i've stop Capitalizing The First Letter Of Every Word. lol.

Like Being In Love, I Said, For The First Time!!!

2007-09-08T14:34:00.000-07:00

-"First Time" : Lifehouse

Anyway. I Gave ***** A Note Yesterday After First Mod And It Basically Said "I Like You ... Do You Like Me ... If You Do That's Rad ... If Not, That Sucks." And I Was Kind Of Avoiding Him At Lunch Although He WAS Looking For Me. And After School I Was "Waiting For Rachel(Him)" And He Was Right In Front Of Me But He Only Looked For Me In The Directions I WASN'T. I Was Kind Of Mad, But I Probably Would Have Done The Same Thing. So Yeah. This The First Weekend In A LONG Time That I BADLY Want It To End. =]

Can't Wait 'Till Monday.

I'll Keep You Posted. =]

OHMYGOSHLIKEOHMYGOSH!

2007-09-05T20:20:00.000-07:00

I Freaking Have Lunch With ***** This Year! Ooogh. I'm SOOOOOO Happy! We Brushed Shoulders On Tuesday, He Said Hi On Wednesday And Both Days At Lunch He Sat A Table Closer And Closer To Mine! Rahhhhhh! I'm So Freaking Happy!!!!!!!!

Yeah. So Other Than That, I Have 4 Classes AND Lunch With Chlöe. =]

HAPPYHAPPYHAPPY!

Ok. So Like, Here's The Deal.

2007-08-05T23:36:00.000-07:00

I Still Like **** And All, But I Recently Saw ***** And I Think I Still Like Him Too. I Also Made A Promise To My Best Friend That There WOULD Be Boys This Year. And At Least One. =]

I Really Want To Go Out With ***** And **** But Since **** Lives 2 Hours Away, I Think I Will Have To Make It Work With *****. So, I'm Hoping I Have Either Lunch, P.E., Or Both With Him This Year. And Also That He Doesn't Like ****** Anymore. =]

Wish Me LotsOfLuck.

♥♥AlwaysAndForever:♥♥

EmilieRose

Bored, In Love, And Confused

2007-07-30T23:07:00.000-07:00

So Like, There's This Guy. His Name Is ****. I Met Him At Camp 2 Years Ago, But I Liked Someone Else Then. This Year, That Guy Wasn't There, And **** And I Became Fast Friends. We Hung Out Most Of The Free Time We Had, And It Was Great. We Ate Together, Played Games Together, And Talked. A LOT! He Led Me On In Ways So Ridiculous, It's Hard To Explain. He Offered To Make Out With Me To Get The Bug Spray Taste Out Of My Mouth, Called Me 'Babycakes', Hugged Me More Than His Girlfriend, Kissed Me On The Cheek And The Forehead, And Yet, He Still Never Asked Me Out. I Mean, I KNOW He Isn't A Shy Guy At Heart, So It Confused Me Even More. =/

Why Do Guys Have To Play Me So Often? They Act Like They Like Me, And Then Suddenly, They Turn Around And Stab Me In The Back By Going Out With Someone That I THOUGHT Was My Friend. It Just Doesn't Make Sense. And It's Not Fair. I'm A Hopeless Romantic Who Wants A Happily Ever After. But I Have Come To Realize That They Are Inexistent. The Closest Thing We Have Are Sappy Love Movies And Accidental Love. And I Want To Be In It.

Goodnight My Loyal Readers. I Hope I Can Start Posting A Lot More Than I Do Now. I'm Just So Busy. Busy...Thinking About Him. Thinking About How I Can Get Him To Like Me Back. No. Nevermind. I Need To Take A Vow Off Of Crushes. They Are Controlling My Life, And I Want It Back. No More Guys For 8th Grade. I'll Save The Fairytale Ending For High School. Yeah. That's It. And My High School Sweetheart Will Be My Prince Charming. And We WILL Live Happily Ever After.

Goodnight My Lovies.

=]

♥♥♥EmilieRose♥♥♥

Mii Love Poems.

2007-06-16T20:28:00.000-07:00

I Was Uuber Bored, So I Decided To Write Some Looove Poemzz. :: Here They Are ::

For so long now
You've been far gone.
Every day, I ask myself,
What did I do wrong?
It wasn't just a crush,
I had liked you for some time.
But dropping me so quick,
Liking you soon felt like a crime.
Every second of every day,
I long to have you again.
Every second of every day,
I want to dance with you in the rain.
It hurts to know we're so close,
It hurts to look into your eyes.
It hurts to see you hurt.
A little more my spirit dies.
It also hurts to know,
That we'll be friends forever.
Together, but not eachothers',
Yet, still impossible to sever.
That's how it's going to stay,
That's how it's always going to be...
Me always liking you,
You never liking me.

I H.A.T.E. the little things he does,
I H.A.T.E his presence just because.
I H.A.T.E. the way he says my name,
I H.A.T.E. how we're friends just the same.
I H.A.T.E. the way he bounces around,
I H.A.T.E. how the memories are always found.
I H.A.T.E. how he's always quick to defend,
But mostly,
I H.A.T.E. how we're friends till the end.

REVERSE

I L.O.V.E. the little things he does,
I L.O.V.E. his presence just because.
I L.O.V.E. the way he says my name,
I L.O.V.E. how we're friends just the same.
I L.O.V.E. how he always bounces around,
I L.O.V.E. how the memories are always found.
I L.O.V.E. how he's always quick to defend.
But mostly
I L.O.V.E how we're friends till the end.

She doesn't deserve the praise,
She doesn't deserve that boi.
She doesn't deserve to use him,
Like hes' just some worthless toy.

She doesn't deserve the power,
To break the one I adore.
She doesn't deserve to lie to me,
Or leave me crying on the floor.

She doesn't deserve that family,
She doesn't deserve those friends.
She doesn't deserve all those people,
Who are so willing to defend.

She's open to the public.
Yeah, she's just another whore.
Her two-faced lying self,
Is becoming such a bore.

But her true self, it is hidden,
She has it hidden very well.
She's hidden it with a soft and sweet,
Sugar coated shell.

The rest of the world can't see,
The rest of the world is blind.
The rest of the world doesn't know,
That she stabs from behind.

We used to be friends,
We used to have fun.
But now, as you can see...
We are CLEARLY done.

He is: my everything
He is: my one true love
He is: my light and my dark
He is: my shade when i'm hot
He is: my blanket when im cold
He is: my knight in shining armor
He is: the sunshine that keeps my garden alive
He is: [[my crush]]

I Have Given Him::

6 months of my heart loving him non-stop
endless smiles
uncountable jokes
a friend when he needed one
many encouraging cheers
a million nights of thinking about nothing but him
too many daydreams
not enough bravery

He Has Given Me::

no warm embraces
no sweet kisses
no hand to hold
no happy smiles
hardly any compliments
a dozen joking insults
no face happy to see me
It Just Doesn't Seem Fair To Take Away So Much From A Girl & Give So Little Back

I Try So Hard...
To Get Him To Take A Second Look
To Make Him Smile
To make the moment he talks to me last forever
To get him to love me back
To work up the nerve 2 tell him how i feel
To find out if he feels the same way
To push away the knowledge that he doesnt luv me back
To find a way 2 cope w/ my heartbreak
To get him 2 stay a little longer so i can ask him 2 dance
To push away the tingling urge 2 jump up and kiss him
To finally make myself realize he doesn't luove me and doesn't deserve me or my time & I will find someone who will love me back just as much as I love him and make me so happy
To Believe Myself When I Say That

Ho Hum Nothing Much

2007-05-12T23:11:00.000-07:00

I Haven't Written Since Sean's Birthday, And I'm Bored. I'm Still In Love With *****, But I Chickened Out On Friday To Ask Him Out. Plus, My Mom Was There. Not A Good Setting. Anyway, I Got Back From Kaighleigh's Beach House In Long Beach At About 7:30 Tonight, And I've Been Bored Ever Since. We Went Horsie Riding (I Got Sally x]] ) And Go-Carting. Or Is It Karting? Whatever. I Know. Mindless Chatter. Mostly Directed To Myself Because It's My Blogger. Gawshh. What Is Up With Me Today? I Don't Know And I Don't Really Care. So Yeah. Hit Me Up With A Comment And I Will Be Forever Grateful. Well, For A While. LMAO. Peec Yoze.

More About This New Obsession I Have Called: Him

2007-05-06T03:48:00.000-07:00

His Name Is *****. He Is 5'7" Which Is Good Because I Am 5'6 1/2". His Eyes Are Ice Blue And His Hair Is Blonde And Surfer-Ishh To Perfection. I Love Him But Confused And As To Whether Or Not He Has The Same Feelings For Me. He Might Be Into *****. Not Me. She Is In 6th Grade. So Is He. I'm In 7th. But It's Ok, Right? Mariah Was Dating Dylan. A 6th Grader. In Love And Confused. He Makes Me Laugh And Blush. But When I Get Home I Cry. I Cry Because He Has No Idea What I Feel Inside. I'm Not Even Sure If I Do. I Can't Mask My Feelings For Much Longer. One Of These Days It Will Come Out In An Awkward Postion. When I See Him, I'm Desperate To Start A Conversation, But When He Talks To Me My Mouth Gets Dry. I'm Sorry That I Cap The First Letter Of Every Word. It's A Habit. I Can't Stop. Kind Of Like How I Can't Stop Loving Him. He's Like A Drug. But Better. And Legal. They Say I'm Out Of My Mind, But I Know I'm Sane. I Just Need A Few More Band-Aids Because I Keep Scraping My Knee Falling For Him. I Know It's Kornee, But I Don't Know If I Can Just Cut Him Off From My Life Or Not. I Have Come To Believe He Is My Life Support. So If I Pull The Plug, I Won't Survive. I See Him 3 Times A Day Before Track Practice, And I Make Sure He Gets A Good Look At Me. You See, He Never Gets To See Me In The Outfits I Put Together With Him In Mind Other Than Those 3 Times Because We Dress Down For Track. Although I Still Dress To Impress Him, I Don't Feel Pretty Enough. I Always Feel Uuber Self Consious Around Him. I Was Never One Of Those Girls Who Constantly Asked If They Looked Fat As Long As It Looked Good. Now I Am. Can Anyone Help This Love Sick Girl Who Is More Confused Than The Dead Frog In Your Science Lab That Has No Idea How It Got There? I Really Need It. Not Professional Help, Just Help From People Who Actually Know What They're Talking About. He Says He Likes The Song "Saying Sorry" By Hawthorne Heights. I Downloaded It The Second I Got Home That Day And I Listen To It Non-Stop On My iPod. This Whole Height Thing Rocks. Because At 5'6 1/2", It's Hard To Find A Guy That I Like, Inside And Out, Who Is Taller Than Me, Or Atleast AS Tall As Me. And Yes. I Meant To Caps The First As. It Was For Emphasis. Like The Extra Lip Gloss I Put On Before I Leave The Locker Room. It's Emphasis. On Me. So He Might Look Twice. But I'm Ok With A Once Over. It Make Me Feel All Giddy Inside. Even If We Meet Eyes For A Split Second, I Want To Relive That Moment For The Rest Of My Life. This Is How I Imagine It: On Thursday, At The Track Meet, I Drop My Phone And Walk All The Way Across The Track Before I Even Notice. When I Turn Around To Look For It, He Is Standing There. Behind Me. Wayy Close To Me. But Not TOO Close To Me. He Whispers Softly: "Is This Yours?". I'd Say: "Well, If It Isn't, Then You Walked All The Way Out Here For Nothing." He'd Smile And Handed Me My Phone Back. That Moment When He Laughs At My Cleverness, We'd Locked Eyes For A Split Second That Seemed Like Years. It Would Be The Greatest Feeling In The World. I Don't Know What I Should Do. I'm Thinking About Asking Him Out On Friday, But Fear Not The Rejection, But The Awkwardness That Would Come With It. My Fingers Were On Fire Typing So Fast Because I Had So Much To Say And I Didn't Want To Forget Anything. I Know I Type WAYY More Than I Talk, But It's Just On Here, I Can Say Anything And * Out Anything I Don't Want People To Know. On My Blogger, It's Private, But In A Public Sort Of Way. I Know It Doesn't Make Sense To You, But It Doesn't To Me Either. Just Like My Feelings For Him. I'm In Love And Confused And I Don't Know What To Do.

What Did I Do Today? Well, I Made A Joke About a Dog Because I Love Sugar A Little Too Much!

2007-05-02T22:52:00.000-07:00

Body: Pick the month you were born in
1----I ran over
2----I killed
3----I ate
4----I laughed at
5----I killed
6----I cuddled with
7----I yelled at
8----I smoked
9----I stabbed
10---I stared at
11---I made a joke about
12---I can't forget about
Pick the day (number) you were born on
01------a bag of kool-aid
02------the kool-aid man
03------a horse
04------a celebrity
05------your mom
06------a fashion icon
07------john gotti
08------a bum
09------a toothbrush
10------a jew
11------a computer geek
12------an overweight Asian man
13------Paris Hilton
14------Oprah
15------a cat
16------a pickle
17------an apple
18------a bmy computer screen
19------a dog
20------an orange
21------a crackhead
22------your grandma
23------a easter egg
24------my ex
25------a bottle of honey
26------a piece of bubble gum
27------ a teacher
28------a homeless guy
29------a french fry
30------a bottle of root beer
31------Randy Moss
Pick the color of shirt you are wearing
White--- because I have a gigantic foot
Black----Because Im sexii
Pink-----because I love sleeping in on weekends
Red-----because I have AMAZING eyes
Blue----Because Im Rick James
Polka Dots----because I hate my life
Purple----because Im gay
Gray-----because i love sugar a little too much
Orange-----because I have a bmw
Green-----because Im beautiful
Other-----because I love the way it looks
Turqoise-----because I think turtles are hawt
Brown-------because i like coffee
Shirtless-----because i got abs

Track Babes Are As Follows

2007-04-28T19:38:00.000-07:00

Me, Amanda, Bre, Lexi, Vanessa, Taleah, And *****.
Oh Yeah. XD

When Did You First

2007-04-27T19:15:00.000-07:00

How old were you when you first....
1. Fell in love- 13
2. Lost someone close to you - 8
3. Got drunk - never
4. smoked weed - Never
5. Got kissed - 10
6. Went to the hospital for surgery - 10
7. Got your heart broken badly - 12
8. Lost a pet - 11
9. Got arrested - never
10. Smoked a Cigarette - never
11. Broken a bone - 12
12. Went to a concert - 7
13. Had 1st boy/girl friend - 4. Preschool. Oh Yeah.
15. Meet Your Current Best Friend - 11
16. Snuck out of the house - never
17. Pierced other than your ears - Never
18. Snuck someone in your house - Never
19. How old are you now? 13
20. Learned to drive - 11
21. Totalled a car - never
22. Went to a nightclub or bar - never
23. First tattoo - never

In Current State Of MY Union. Sorry Massie...Lol

2007-04-27T18:49:00.000-07:00

IN/OUT
*****(current crush)/ ******(old crush)
Talking 2 Alyson, Haili And Chlöe On Gmail At The Same Time/Talking 2 Chlöe On Habbo
Makes Me Wonder-Maroon 5/Irreplacable-Beyonce
Blogging/Journaling
Vanilla Drumstick Ice Cream/Chocolate Cookie Dough Ice Cream
Amp Energy Drinks/Rockstar Energy Drinks

Momiez Bday

2007-04-27T18:45:00.002-07:00

Exactly 3 Months Ago Was My MOMMY'S 39TH BIRTHDAY!!! EXACTLY 295 MORE DAYS UNTIL MY MOTHER IS 40 YEARS OLD!!! OH-HOLY-BEJESUS!!! THAT MEANS i'm GETTING OLD!!! AHH!!! I'M ONLY 13!!! IT'S NOT FAIR!!! JUST KIDDING Y'ALL. :D

Boys Again

2007-04-27T18:43:00.000-07:00

Ok. So, I've Got Word On That 6th Grader. His Name Is *****(spelling?) And I've Heard Him Talk Finally And His Voice Is 2D4. (To Die For) Anyway, He Likes Long Distance Running And High Jump. Oh, And Long Jump Too. I Don't Know For Sure, But He Did It For Both Rotations Today At Track. As Far As I Know And His Eyes Are A Breath Taking Ice Blue. I Think He Might Be Kinda Into Emily Crouse Or Maybe They're Just Friends. I Don't Know, But I Hope So. :D

Am I Really Over Him??

2007-04-27T18:41:00.000-07:00

Well, IDK If I'm over ****** yet or not, but i know that i have a sorta new crush. or i just think heez hawt. idk yet, dont know his name, but heez a 6th grader, taller than me (finally!), and uuber duper hawt!